Kelly Farley

Kelly Farley is a bereaved father that has experienced the loss of his two children over an eighteen month span. He lost his daughter Katie in 2004 and son Noah in 2006. During that time he realized that there is a lack of support services available to fathers suffering such a loss. As a result of that realization, he is working on his first book as a resource for Grieving Dads. He created and maintains a website for this project at www.GrievingDads.com. Kelly has also written several articles on the subject of men’s grief and has traveled throughout North America to interview other grieving dads in order to create a resource book that captures the experiences of other men on this journey. His book will be completed by the end of 2010 and is expected to highlight 30-40 real life inspirational stories from dads that have survived the loss of a child. He is on a mission to bring awareness to men’s grief and provide hope to the many men that often grieve in silence due to societal expectations.

Articles:

Grieving Dads: Therapists and Other Resources

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. A grieving dad must face many hard truths after the death of a child, but for me, perhaps the most sobering one is the fact that I received more help from strangers than I did from people I knew. Maybe that’s why psychiatrists make so much money. After all, many of us are more comfortable talking about our problems to strangers than we are talking to friends or relatives. Alcoholics and gamblers, when you think about it, often find more real help in […]

Grieving Dads: Signs of Concern

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. At one point in the middle of the fog that encased me after Noah died, it occurred to me that I was dying right along with him and his big sister, Katie. And you know what? I welcomed the possibility. Although I wasn’t suicidal, by late 2006, I had truly reached rock bottom, and I simply didn’t care whether I lived or died. At this newest, lowest point in my journey through the passing of my children, my body was falling apart and […]

Grieving Dads: When a Child Dies Suddenly

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. If it were up to me, I probably would change the “five stages of grief” thing so it included a brand new category. I’d call it “Shock and Trauma,” because those are really the things that hit you first after the death of a child. “Shock,” minus the awe. And “trauma,” minus the blood. Leastwise, trauma minus your own blood. The experts call the first stage of grieving “denial,” and I can promise you that you will indeed experience denial when you go […]

Grieving Dads: The First Blow

This is an excerpt from Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, which is available at Amazon. Fathers aren’t supposed to grieve the same way that mothers do. Society has placed certain demands on men that preclude them from dealing with loss or disappointment by wearing emotion on their sleeves or even talking about it openly. For sure, men aren’t supposed to lose control. They are expected to toughen up, get back to work, take it like a man, and support their wives. And if they must cry, by all means they should do so in private. My own journey […]

Home Sickness After a Loved One’s Death

All of us who have lost a child can agree that when you lose a child, everything in your life is impacted in some way. After the death of my son Noah, and once I surrendered to the fight of emotional avoidance, I became someone who didn’t like to leave the house and became somewhat antisocial for the first time in my life. I felt a lot of comfort hanging out at home with my wife Christine. When she would leave the house and I was left by myself, I would get this uneasy feeling. Just being with Christine kept […]

‘Brotherhood’ of Fathers Who Have Lost Children

I had a unique experience last week while I was at work that took me a little off guard. To give you some background leading up to this experience, it started the Friday before New Year’s weekend and I was on the phone with someone (Mark) I had never spoken to before and we were talking about the possibility of his firm doing some sub-consultant work for a project I was managing. I am the type of person who is genuinely interested in other people. I think everyone has a story to tell which I find intriguing. Therefore, as with […]

Seven Years Later, Coping With the Anniversary of a Death

This past November marked the 7-year anniversary of losing my sweet daughter Katie. I’m not sure what happened to the last 7 years, but they’ve managed to slip away. I know many of you are newly bereaved and probably think “7 years? I am not sure if I can make 1 year or 2 years. How will I ever be able to make it 7 years?” Those are excellent questions, questions I also asked myself at the beginning of this hell. I know the feeling of surviving second by second and then moving to minute by minute, hour by hour, […]

Dragonflies Help Dad Feel Close to Deceased Son

It must have been a couple of weeks after the death of my son Noah when I first noticed the dragonflies. It was mid-June 2006 and I had already been off work for several weeks. I had called my office to let them know that I wasn’t going to be in for awhile. At the time I didn’t know what “awhile” meant and thankfully they didn’t ask. I spent most of my days doing small tasks around the house, just to keep my mind occupied. The rest of the time I hung out with my wife, worked out and made […]

How to Support a Grieving Dad

I often hear from grieving dads who tell me they feel alone in their grief after the death of their child. It amazes me that after going through something as profound as the death of a child, that these men feel so alone and isolated. As much as it amazes me, I can relate because I too felt alone after the death of my two children. I felt so alone that I would go online and search for other grieving dads. However, I didn’t find what I was looking for or needed at that point in my grief. I didn’t […]

What Are Your Triggers?

I have to be honest; it’s been a while since anything has “triggered” an intense emotional response. These responses are much fewer and farther between than in my early days of grief. After the death of my daughter, Katie, I wouldn’t even allow myself to respond to the triggers. I had trained my mind to “change the thought or situation” immediately. It was my way to control my feelings and pain, which, looking back, wasn’t the best decision on my part. After the death of my son, Noah, I had no choice but to allow myself to feel the full […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.